Back to work!

alhamdulillah, kaki dah makin baik..

in shaa Allah going back to work today after two days of MC.

i fell at car park while crossing the drain two days back. haih, what a bad day. husband was on call on that day. lucky it happened around 6.30am and he was still around. he brought me upstairs and he put on cold compression and left to work.

it was awful on the first day because i could not bear my weight at all! damn painful. husband was not around to give an extra pair of hands, so i had to mobilize using the chair as a walking aid..haih.

i could not go to hospital to get painkiller injection, so buka pose la jawabnya.

took 2 tabs of panadein with one tablet of celebrex and dozed off.

the next day it became better. still pain but i was able to bear my weight. Alhamdulillah.
i didnt go for an xray. malas. haha

i treated myself as an ankle sprain. husband was not happy. he afraid i would miss any cracks or fracture, yeah..i promised today if any patient go for an xray i will tumpang sekaki. but until now no patient for xray, so no xray la..hehe. takkan nak call the radiographer on this weekend just for my xray. tak fair kan.

k, that's it for now. see u later.

Sugarscarf update

dulu aku pernah dengar pasal sugarscarf tapi tak pernah beli sampai la satu hari tu pergi seksyen 7 nak pergi muslimah clothing couture, ternampak signboard sugarscarf.

so balik tu google pasal sugarscarf tapi banyak shawl dah out of stock. lagipun masa ni aku tak pandai sangat nak pakai shawl, so tak beli apa-apa. masa tu aku beli tudung dari syazara boutique sebelah dengan muslimah clothing couture.

sampai satu hari tu sugarscarf fb page posted kat fb pasal new madison shawl. tu yg aku sakan membeli madison shawl tu  macam dalam post nih sugarscarf.

so lepas tu sugarscarf produce pulak inner innara. ini lagi awesome. maknanya boleh la beli shawl corak-corak pulak.

so sempena pembukaan sugarscarf nye outlet baru kat wangsa melawati, maka seminggu lepas tu aku pun terhegeh-hegeh la pergi. pergi berdua dengan siti hajar.

hasil tangkapan hari tu adalah satu shawl jazreen, satu shawl ayami, satu shawl kira, 3 shawl thara and4 inner innara. puas hati...muawahaha


so lepas ni nak beli nuri kaler hitam pulak sebab madison shawl kaler itam da takde stok kan..sedey!!!!!


tapi sebab dah sprained my ankle maka niat ditangguhkan.

*berdoa semoga nuri tak habis sebelum aku beli,amin.*

Ashraf muslim dan poligami

hm..kecoh sekarang ni pasal asraf muslim kahwin lain.

so tetiba rasa gatal nak komen

aku tak berani komen pasal poligami tu sendiri sebab poligami tu halal dalm islam dan sunnah nabi. maka kita sebagai orang islam tak boleh mengharamkan benda yang halal atau mencemuh poligami itu sendiri, sebab ia seolah-olah mencemuh sunnah nabi.

apa yang kita boleh bincangkan or komen adalah individu tu sendiri.

aku tau hati isteri mana yang tak hancur bila membayangkan suami ada isteri lain. apa yang selama ni rahsia kita suami isteri , sekarang orang lain pun boleh share tapi dia dengan suami kita je kan.

itu pun aku tak berani komen sebab tak kena kat batang hidung sendiri.

tapi apa yang aku rasa tak kena adalah dua-dua pihak ada salah sendiri.

ashraf sendiri sebagai suami kalau betul nak berpoligami ,tak kira la atas alasan apa sekalipun, tak boleh la tak jujur dengan isteri. kesian isteri. rasa diperbodohkan dek suami.

dayana pulak, tak sewajarnya post kat facebook pasal aib suami. yes, maybe suami dia fault and tak sempurna langsung tapi selagi dia bergelar isteri, haram untuk dia aibkan suami. sebab suami dia tak buat apa-apa yang dilarang oleh syarak betul tak?

ye, aku tau mesti korang rasa aku poyo tapi ini cuma pendapat peribadi aku, terpulang korang nak fikir macam mana tapi aibkan suami tetap salah..

k,sekian. apa pun aku doakan yang terbaik untuk pasangan popular ni.

wassalam.

ankle sprain

ok, saje nak tumpang havoc.

hari ni aku MC. haih malu beb. tak pernah-pernha MC tiba-tiba hari ni cuti sakit.

patutnya aku kerja petang, tapi sebab nak fax something and memandangkan hari ni jumaat and long lunch hour, so aku mintak swap dengan colleague untuk masuk syif pagi.

so lepas sahur, solat and mandi, terus siap2 nak pergi kerja.

sampai kat parking kereta, masa nak langkah longkang, tah macam mana terpijak bekas chewing gum sape tah, terus lost balance and jatuh terduduk atas kaki kanan yang terlipat ke dalam.

sakitnya tuhan sahaja yang tahu, terus nangis.

lepas tu panik, cari phone and call colleague mintak cover pagi ni.

then call husband and mintak dia turun amik kat bawah


dia pun papah bawak naik. sakit siot

terpaksa la buka puasa sebab nak makan ubat. sebab husband on call so dia tak boleh nak hantar gi hospital nak amik injection...

haih...sigh

ni nak tunggu dia free nak bawak gi buat xray and amik mc

so, tak nak vaccinate anak?

Recently they are a lot of stories about mommies out there who refuse vaccination.

Anti vaccination group has their own reason.

and the pro-vaccination group has their own reason as well.

i will not comment on adverse effect, or advantages of vaccination but what i want to emphasize here is the funny things about this antivaccination group.

they keep on mentioning " go google la", "from my research", "i am going to google to complete my research".

haha..funny. really funny.

dear s0-called google researchers sekalian, itu kita panggil surfing. 

research means u have a case study. u have the paperwork, u have an enough sample study, u have the control group, and the first and foremost, u know what u re talking about. in and out. not from google, but from your study. a proper class, with certified and authorized teachers and reference.

googling about adverse effect of vaccination does not make you an immunologist or microbiologist who can certified that vaccination is totally dangerous.

if i wanna know about hukum fiqah and i google about it, does that make me an ustazah or who graduated from university al azhar? am i at the same level with them? does that allow me to jatuhkan hukum fatwa dan sebagainya? no, right?

same goes to mommies out there. if u dont want to vaccinate your baby, fine by us medical practitioner, you are the one who is going to suffer if your baby succumbed with those kind of  preventable disease.

and we the pro-vaccination will bear the risk of adverse effect of vaccination macam yang u all takutkan sangat tu.

but do not spread things that is not right. u are not a clinician to give words on this. u could not justify yourself though.

and again doctors did not save people, we assist in giving treatment for sick people to get optimum health. Allah does the saving and cure.

Wallahu'alam.

CERAI SEBAB KAHWIN MUDA?

oh no no...gua tak agree dengan statement itu hokey.

bukan kata "ok ko tengok aku pon kawen muda okey je" or "mak bapak kita kawen muda okey je"
or "ko tengok si polan bin si polan tu kawen muda sekarang dah bercerai-berai", "tu ha si polan si polan tu bercerai dah. tu la, sape suruh kahwin muda. patutnya fikir habis-habis..bla..bla..."

NO.

what i want to say is, semuanya bergantung kepada insan-insan yang mendirikan rumahtangga itu sendiri. ye, memang mak bapak, mertua, ipar duai, kawan, jiran or bekas-bekas kekasih korang boleh memberikan kesan or impak yang sangat besar pada marriage tu, tapi yang paling utama adalah suami isteri itu sendiri.

ini aku bagi pendapat berdasarkan pengalaman aku sendiri la. dan juga pemerhatian aku pada orang sekeliling baik family or jiran or kawan.

dulu aku dengan suami ambil keputusan kahwin awal sebab nak elakkan maksiat.

we were in our fourth year of medical school at that time. we met in 2005 in some college program. we were  a batchmate but somehow we never talked or being in a same class group before.

after 1 year together, we made the decision to get married.

we were always together at that time. makan sama, gi class sama, study sama. jadi bila dah macam tu,might as well nikah cepat. so tak la terjerumus buat maksiat. betul tak. alhamdulillah Allah permudahkan urusan kami untuk nikah. benda baik, niat baik, in shaa Allah pertolongan Allah tu datang. ye la, nak nikah masa student bukannya senang. nak uruskan borang, kursus kahwin, booking masjid dan jurunikah, cari katering untuk majlis makan-makan ringkas lepas nikah etc... syukur.

i had no queries. i was confident with my decision.  i am happy dengan keputusan untuk kahwin dengan husband. tak pernah ada kesal. Alhamdulillah.

all marriages will have ups adn downs. yang penting how you the husband to lead the marriage, and you the wife to follow and being the most important person to your husband.

perkahwinan takkan kekal or bahagia kalau satu pihak je yang berusaha. dua-dua kena betulkan niat dan usaha untuk jaga perkahwinan itu.

kita as a muslim benda pertama dalam urusan hidup kita terutama yang penting macam perkahwinan, yang mesti dibetulkan adalah

1. niat.

niat kahwin tu untuk Allah.
nak ikut sunnah nabi
nak penuhi keperluan fitrah. ye la, kasih sayang, sex, emosi semua kan fitrah kita sebagai manusia. ada ke orang yang tak suka ada orang lain sayang dia etc

kena niat nak jadi suami atau isteri yang baik.
tak boleh niat nak mudaratkan pasangan.

sentiasa niat nak semarakkan kasih sayang,
sentiasa niat nak rumahtangga kekal dan bahagia.

jadi bila niat tu dah 'clear', kita tau apa yang kita nak, kita takkan semudah-mudahnya dengar hasutan syaitan or orang yang macam syaitan yang nak hancurkan rumahtangga kita.

apa pun cerita atau nasihat yang orang bagi, kita sentiasa 'filter' dulu.
sentiasa tanya diri, kalau kita follow benda tu apa impak pada perkahwinan tu?
sentiasa utamakan perkahwinan dan keluarga dalam perkahwinan tu.

2. doa

ini senjata kita yang paling ampuh.
hari-hari kena doa dapat pasangan yang baik.
percaya tak masa aku sekolah menengah lagi aku dah doa nak kahwin awal. doa dapat husband yang protective, dapat husband yang loving, kaya, romantic, yang kan jadi ayah yang penyayang pada anak-anak...alhamdulillah doa tu makbul.

bila dah dapat pasangan yang best macam yang di cita-citakan tu jangan ko lupa pulak nak doa supaya kasih sayang makin semarak, bahagia tu berkekalan. faham?

3. pasangan yang serasi

ok, ini agak subjektif. serasi kat ko tak bermakna serasi dengan ko. jadi penting untuk kita doa banyak-banyak supaya Allah beri kita pasangan yang terbaik dan serasi untuk kita.

serasi tak semestinya semua nak sama. i like purple you also like purple. i like pizza you also like pizza. i anak sulung you pun anak sulung. tak semestinya okay. mungkin ada couple bahagia di luar sana yang kebetulan semuanya sama tapi tak semestinya semua nak kena sama baru bahagia. okay?

serasi ni lebih kepasa korang compliment each other. maknanya keburukan ko dia boleh terima. keburukan dia ko boleh terima. kelebihan ko dia suka and same goes to him. korang boleh lepak sesama, walaupun maybe ko tak suka western food tapi dia tak offended sangat dengan kebencian ko pada western food. contohnya la...

lepas tu korang boleh sekepala walau tak semua benda korang setuju. boleh berlebih kurang hal-hal kecil. hak-hal besar boleh dibawa berbincang.

dari situ ko akan rasa ' oh inilah pasangan jiwa aku'.  sebab nanti bila ko ada masalah or rasa nak mengutuk orang or nak ventilate kemarahan hati, ko akan cari pasangan ko ni. sebab dia adalah mirror diri ko. dia takkan balaci ko kat orang yang ko tak puas hati, dia takkan tikam belakang ko. dia takkan jeaous dengan pencapaian hidup ko. dia sentiasa ada kat belakang utnuk support bila ko rasa nak 'terjatuh'. dia ada kat sebelah untuk sentiasa teman ko dalam susaah, senang, happy, sedih dan sebagainya,

pasangan yang serasi ni seolah-olah kawan baik yang berlainan jantina tapi ko sayang dia lebih and boleh ditiduri(maknanya lepas nikah la). lebih kurang gitu la.

4. suami yang boleh diharap

skop boleh diharap ni luas. boleh diharap untuk mencari rezeki. boleh diharap mendidik dan membesarkan anak-anak. boleh diharap untuk menjaga kita sebagai isteri. boleh diharap untuk membimbing kita sebagai isteri. so, skop boleh diharap ni sangat lah luas.

5. isteri yang taat

ok, ini apply untuk suami yang boleh diharap eh. sebab kalau suami jenis tak boleh pakai, solat tidak, puasa tidak, kerja tidak, hisap dadah hari-hari, macam mana kita nak taat kan?

tapi kalau dah dapat suami boleh diharap tu ko jangan la naik lemak pulak tak reti nak taat kat laki kan. memang syaitan suka hasut kita supaya lawaan suami sebab bila dah taat straight masuk nerak, so bertambah la ahli neraka. mula- mula kahwin memang kita akan ada fasa penyesuaian diri. kita baru nampak belang masing-masing, baru kenal keluarga masing-masing, kawan masing-masing. jadi time ni la kena banyak sabar. kena senitasa ingatkan diri yang kita ni nak kahwin lama, bukan seminggu dua lepas tu nak cerai bla..bla..

kena banyak sabar. kena sentiasa ingatkan diri untuk sentiasa memaafkan sebab kita pun takde la best sangat asyik nak menang je kalau berbalah dengan laki kan.

kena sentiasa ingatkan diri untuk settle kan gaduh cepat-cepat. jangan panajgkan gaduh. jangan berlebih-lebih bila bergaduh. JANGAN JADIKAN CERAI SEBAGAI PENYELESAIAN.

ha,,, saje kasi capital letter sikit. ingat tu, kalau dah salah, letak ego ke tepi then minta maaf. jangan berat mulut ego macam firaun tak reti nak minta maaf. sama gak, laki kita pun kalau dah salah tu reti-reti la nak pujuk bini.


6. jangan biar orang lain campur tangan urusan keluarga kita

ha, ni sensitif sikit. sebab kita kahwin dengan pasangan maknanya kita pun kahwin dengan mak bapak pasangan kita. jadi kalau dapat mak mertua yang jenis masuk campur urusan ruahtangga kita, yang jenis papan pemotong sayur kita pun boleh jadi bahan untuk suruh suami kita tinggalkan kita tu, memang susah la nak handle.

dalam kes macam tu, suami kena kuat. kena tau bila nak patuh perintah mak bapak dia dengan nak handle family sendiri.

alhamdulillah aku syukur sangat dapat mak mertua yang sangat memahami. she is so understanding, flexible, always practical, tak pernah masuk campur urusan rumahtangga kitorang.

korang yang dah kahwin mesti pernah kena macam korang kat rumah mertua, korang dah nak balik rumah sebab dah malam ahad. fikir esok isnin nak kerja, baju nak gosok, anak balik nanti nak di mandikan, sitidurkan, prepare barang nak hantar pergi rumah pengasuh esok pagi, kerja pejabat ada tak siap lagi, then bila ko dah signal kat laki ko untuk ajak balik, tetiba mertua ko tanya " eh dah nak balik ke?, baru pukul 6pm, tak puas lagi main dengan cucu"

haha, mesti korang sentap kan? sebab korang nak balik sebab banyak kerja tapi mertua buat tak reti bahasa tahan korang lama-lama...haha

Alahamdulillah, mertua aku tak macam tu, huhu, syukur gila. kalo aku sound je " mak, kitorang nak balik dulu", mak akan jawab " ha, ok, ok, elok lah tu, karang jalan jem nanti sampai lambat. penat. esok nak kerja. jom, mak pegang anak, korang angkut barang masuk dalam kereta."

haha, cool kan?

aku sayang gila mak mertua aku macam mak kandung. dia tak pernah kongkong kitorang. kalo kitorang balik rumah mertua, lepas tu nak keluar pergi jalan-jalan, mak akan keluarkan statement " ha, nak keluar ye, bagusla, makan luar ye, mak ada kenduri, so, mak malas masak."

awesome!

dalam isu ni suami yang kena kuat dan adil. isteri pulak kena la relevant dan taat. kalau mak bapak ko jenis suka masuk campur urusan ko, ko jangan la bebal sangat belakangkan suami. pincang la rumahtangga kalau macam tu.

yang suami pulak kalo mak bapak anda jenis suka cari salah bini anda, tolong la selidik, jangan main balun bini lepas dengar cakap mak bapak anda. itu kan teman tidur, teman susah senang, teman yang tak berkira duit, masa, tenaga untuk ko, ni senang-senang je ko zalim dengan dia.

rumahtangga ni kan mcam kapal. satu nakhoda je. kalo laki ko nak jadi nakhoda, mak ko nak jadi nakhoda, mak mertua pun nak jadi nakhoda, memang la karam kapal korang.

7. Utamakan benda penting, dismiss benda remeh

bila dah kahwin, jangan la benda kecik pun nak gaduh. isu baju raya pun boleh perang besar. tak faham aku.

kalau rasa nak gaduh, balik kepada niat tadi. niat kita berbalah dengan suami dan isteri ni untuk kebaikan rumahtangga ke tak. kalo selain untuk kerukunan runahtangga, cepat-cepat la istighfar then minta maaf dan bermaaf-maafan la dengan suai atau isteri.

jangan duk sanjung ego, sampai tak nak berlebih kurang.

kalo nak sangat junjung ego, be prepared to lost your marriage.


8. rezeki yang berkat.

keberkatan rezeki ni yang orang selalu tak ambil peduli. rezeki yang berkat ni sangat penting untuk menjaga keberkatan rumahtangga dan keturunan kita. kalau kita bagi rezeki tak berkat, tak diapastikan halal haramnya, macam mana nak aman rumah tangga.

sumber rezekit ni sangat penting sebab akan jadi darah daging kita.

kita akan bagi keturunan kita dan anak-anak makan dari sumber ni. kalau kadang-kadang anak -anak kita degil tak tentu pasal atau rumahtangga macam neraka, asyik nak bertelagah, tidur malam tak tenang, hati ta bahagia, cuca-cuba lah siasat balik sumber rezeki kita.

jangan lupa bayar zakat.

ramai orang jarang miss bayar zakat fitrah tapi zakat pendapatan ramai yang amik sambil lewa.

please take note ye.

7. sedar diri

tolong lah sedar diri pada yang dah 30an nak masuk 40 an tu,jangan la meroyan nak midlife crisis bagai.

lelaki yang biasanya involved in midlife crisis ni adalah lelaki yang dah takde objective dalam hidup.
biasanya diorang ni dah capai certain level dalam hidup, dah takde benda nak dikejar dalam karier, ekonomi dah selesa, anak-anak dah besar. so golongan inilah yang akan start cari perempuan lain, tiba-tiba tukar gaya dressing, jaga badan dengan alasan nak jaga kesihatan padahal sebelum tu tak pernah peduli pun pasal berat badan.

tiba-tiba nak buat benda mengarut, beli sport car, beli motor besar, potong rambut macam remja tak cukup umur, tiba-tiba nak mintak 'space' kononnya nak spend time dengan kawan-kawan etc..

dengan kata lain, takde masalah, cari masalah. ye lah, lelaki kan fitrahnya suka something yang adventures. jadi bila semua matlamat hidup dah tercapai, jadi dia akan mula cari benda untuk keep his mind occupied.

sebab tu aku tak kisah husband suka main game PS2 etc sebab selain kerja and nak sambung belajar and provide hidup yang lebih baik untuk kami anak beranak, husband ada banyak sangat benda nak buat yang buat dia rasa 24 jam sehari tak cukup.

nak pergi kerja, nak study untuk exam, nak spend time dengan anak and isteri, nak workout, nak pergi regular swimming, nak belajar main gitar, nak main game PS2, nak habiskan baca novel yang ada dekat 7 buah tak habis baca lagi tu, nak tengok DVD, nak travel, nak spend time groom backyard and laman kat rumah kuala...haih..and endless list of to do things in his life.

jadi.....kalau setakat laki ko suka main game tu biar la. kan lagi bagus dari dia duk merayau dengan member, lepak kedai kopi balik tah kul berapa..betul tak?
contoh je la...

aku tak tau la kalo korang redha and comfortable macam tu. kalau aku, asal ada depan mata, aku ok je..hehe

jap....midlife crisis ni pun jadi kat pompuan. ha, jangan ingat lelaki je dapat benda tu. kadang-kadang kalau jadi kat perempuan lagi teruk.

mula-mula nanti rasa macam hidup kosong, takde achievement, kononnya dah bertahun-tahun sacrifice untuk family and tiba-tiba meroyan nak sambung belajar la, nak spend time dengan kawan-kawan la, nak keluar shopping dengan kawan, tak nak bawak anak, bosan terperap kat rumah la, padahal laki keje gaji cukup untuk sara anak beranak dan cater sorang maid!

atau pun tiba-tiba rasa suami tak seromantik laki orang lain, benda kecik, isu baju raya, isu duit minyak pun boleh diperbesar-besarkan...

yang perempuan ni biasanya punca pada midlife crisis atau sebab utama buat perangai adalah kawan-kawan.

kalau dah kengkawan ko jenis yang ambik gambar duk melompat-lompat macam budak umur 14 tahun, jenis yang single parents or masih belum ada teman hidup, of course la sikit sebanyak ko akan terpengaruh.

betul tak?

nanti mula la rasa, eee...lecehnya nak pergi shopping nak bawak anak, teringin nak pergi dengan member, mula sebut-sebut girls day out, nak pergi vacation dengan kawan-kawan sebab nak 'space', nak tenangkan diri daripada anak-anak la etc.

so be careful ye, jangan mudah terjatuh dalam perangkap syaitan. syaitan memang suka kalo rumahtangga kita roboh. ye la bila rumahtangga huru hara, hati tak tenang, ibadat pun boleh terganggu.


ok. ni je la aku rasa antara secrets untuk rumahtangga aman bahagia.

tak la nak kata aku bagus gila dalam hal berumahtangga cuma ini adalah cara yang aku dapati berkesan untuk mengekalkan dan menyemarakkan rumahtangga aku.

ok? nak ikut ok, tak nak ikut pon ok, maybe ko ada cara lain yang boleh di share? :)

Dress surisara memang awesome!

ok, ini dress surisara yang aku pakai masa wedding along.

masa tengah fikir-fikir apa attire nak pakai untuk majlis ni, sekali tengok hanis zalikha yang femes itu 

upload gambar kat instagram about surisara.

kenen-kenen kat husband, 

lepas diterangkan dress ni ala-ala jubah, tidak sendat dan ada saiz besar gila, baru husband bagi green light.

order on sunday, by tuesday dah dapat. 

*thumbs up*

once order confirmed, they will email on order confirmation.

once payment made pun they will email to update the customer.

lepas tu email lagi kata tengah process.

bila dah shipped barang pun email lagi.

puas hati ok!

bila barang sampai lagi la teruja.

lepas alter baju, basuh and sampai la hari yang ditunggu-tunggu..

syok wei, rasa mcm cantik semacam..kihkih..(perasan)

huhu...

suka! suka!

ok, nah ni gambar.

malu nak letak gambar sendiri. sebab hodoh. 

seb baik dress ni berjaya camouflage kehuduhan tuan punya badan.

* dress surisara - pippa

*hijab from sugarscarf - madison shawl in dusty purple.

life as a private medical officer

i have been working here for almost 6 months. i never regret the decision on quitting from government and joining the private hospital.

actually, there were people who badmouthing about my decision. the issue that they raised was paying back jpa scholarship. as if i am quitting and stay at home doing nothing and has no income at all. it was really hurt when they keep on badmouthing and cursing my decision. keep on saying 'u'll regret with my decision. u are not gonna have a happy life. u' ll ended up with debts, u wont be able to pay the jpa scholarship' and bla..bla..bla..

oh, such a demotivating words.

i dont understand why actually they acted like that. they were happy to see me working like a cow in government hospital. i am not a house officer and yet i have to wake-up at 5am, get to work before 7am, eventhough the hospital just within a walking distance from my place. i do not have to struggle to get a carpark. i walked to work but i was already in ward by 7am. gila!

and these people, whenever they meet me, the firs question will be ' how is work? how is life? ' when the answer was 'everything is going smoothly now' , terus muka sinis... haih.... they did not believe i can survive being a private medical officer.

hello, i have a permanent job under an established hospital with pretty good income compared to government site (syukur Alhamdulillah!). maybe they are jealous or just a really badmouth people. huh!

the most pathetic is some of them are my next family member. what a shame!

i didnt owe them anything. i never asked money from them. and they are still trying to take control of my life.

i feel proud for people who has the courage, the spirit to further study and able to work under that kind of stress. i really do. i was interested in doing specialty in medical in the first place. i had been planning to sit for exams and so on. but after joining medical department in my previous hospital, i felt so depressed. i was so tired. i could not study at home.  i feel lost the next day at work.

other than the distressing working hours, i started to feel very tired whenever back home. i rarely spend time with the kids. whenever they are around or making noise, yelling and screaming while playing, i would feel very irritated and annoyed. i scolded them a lot. i slept a lot. my body feels so lethargic. i tried taking multivits etc but it did not work at all.

i cried every night. i felt sorry for my kids. i did not spend enough time with them. i did not cook anymore. my diet and workout were abandoned.

everything seems so uncomfortable. i will go to sleep after work till maghrib. after maghrib, had simple dinner( usually we just ordered from the cafe down there in my apartment) then back to sleep again. the same cycle goes again the next day.

i did not have time to study at all. i was very tired, depressed, and the interest to further study just lost..gone with the wind.

until one fine day, i sat with my husband, cried and ventilate everything. he was there actually throughout my working days in that hospital, but he was also busy. he is a medical officer in surgical department. he occasionally will be called back to go to OT for operation. either learning the new op skill or helping other colleague who stuck with the op. he usually went to work an hour later which was around 8am, had his breakfast well then went to the ward and went home around 5pm. he will spend enough time with the kids at swimming pool and had dinner and went back to OT for tagging.

he did not experience my kind of stress because he was enjoying what he was doing. his superior was not an asshole. so, good for him then.

my husband is such an angel. after that long talk, he gave me a lot of option to go. he did offer me to be stay at home mother. but i have to bare in mind that the our financial part will be very tight. or i could quit and work as GP -general practitioner.

he did not asked me to quit. he left the decision to me. because after all, i am the one who is going to work, not him. i have been thinking for quit sometimes.

i started sending my resume then. with Allah's will, there were few job vacancies published online. i e-mailed my resume to the HR of few hospitals and within less 24 hour i already received few calls calling for an interview. Alhamdulillah. i was very grateful.

after attended few interview sessions and taking into consideration, the distance of the workplace, working hours and salary, i decided to join this hospital that i am working now.

i worked in shift system now. rasa macam housemen pulak. haha. i worked in emergency department. the difference are a lot. the workload was not as bad as in emergency department in government hospital. but, i run the ED alone for the whole shift. still tiring though.

i took about 1 month to settle down here. it was entirely a new system, new style, new people, new bosses, new colleagues and staffs. after 2 months i really enjoyed working here.

further with the amount of salary. it was really worth it.

it was not so much like PM salary but it worth more than that for people like me.

Alhamdulillah.

will tell more about my job later.

see ya.

just finished resuscitating patient and had my sohur.

Wassalam.

Cuci Perut Di Bulan Ramadhan

pelik huh?

selalu orang cuci mata di bulan ramadhan.
pergi bazar tiap petang
pergi window shopping untuk raya
ni cuci perut?

perut aku memang meragam sikit bulan puasa. alhamdulillah syukur sebab rasa perut 'bersih' sebab tiap-tiap hari BO ( bowel open) dua-tiga kali sehari.

takde tenesmus or constipation.
despite of less vege and fluid intake.

syukur sangat.
maybe sebab aku start on atkins diet.
harap-harap lepas sebulan ni, ada lah significant weight loss

in shaa Allah.

The Poplook : effective service and a quality product

ye..aku tau ramai yang dah biasa beli clothing from poplook neh..aku je yang ketinggalan zaman. Dulu never try beli online sebab tak pandai buat online transaction. haritu lepas husband ajar terus pandai..dan pandai..dan pandai..hehe

so first time beli lebih kurang few weeks lepas. Click, click, receive e-mail then esok dah sampai. if payment was made before 1pm during weekdays, the parcel will delivered to your door by the next day.

Bagus kan?

aku memang jatuh cinta la dengan poplook ni. dress lawa-lawa. harga affordable. banyak sizes (plus sizes...ooppsss) hehe and the service was excellent. ni dah 3 kali beli poplook. 

kesimpulan: puas hati *thumbs up*