life as a private medical officer

i have been working here for almost 6 months. i never regret the decision on quitting from government and joining the private hospital.

actually, there were people who badmouthing about my decision. the issue that they raised was paying back jpa scholarship. as if i am quitting and stay at home doing nothing and has no income at all. it was really hurt when they keep on badmouthing and cursing my decision. keep on saying 'u'll regret with my decision. u are not gonna have a happy life. u' ll ended up with debts, u wont be able to pay the jpa scholarship' and bla..bla..bla..

oh, such a demotivating words.

i dont understand why actually they acted like that. they were happy to see me working like a cow in government hospital. i am not a house officer and yet i have to wake-up at 5am, get to work before 7am, eventhough the hospital just within a walking distance from my place. i do not have to struggle to get a carpark. i walked to work but i was already in ward by 7am. gila!

and these people, whenever they meet me, the firs question will be ' how is work? how is life? ' when the answer was 'everything is going smoothly now' , terus muka sinis... haih.... they did not believe i can survive being a private medical officer.

hello, i have a permanent job under an established hospital with pretty good income compared to government site (syukur Alhamdulillah!). maybe they are jealous or just a really badmouth people. huh!

the most pathetic is some of them are my next family member. what a shame!

i didnt owe them anything. i never asked money from them. and they are still trying to take control of my life.

i feel proud for people who has the courage, the spirit to further study and able to work under that kind of stress. i really do. i was interested in doing specialty in medical in the first place. i had been planning to sit for exams and so on. but after joining medical department in my previous hospital, i felt so depressed. i was so tired. i could not study at home.  i feel lost the next day at work.

other than the distressing working hours, i started to feel very tired whenever back home. i rarely spend time with the kids. whenever they are around or making noise, yelling and screaming while playing, i would feel very irritated and annoyed. i scolded them a lot. i slept a lot. my body feels so lethargic. i tried taking multivits etc but it did not work at all.

i cried every night. i felt sorry for my kids. i did not spend enough time with them. i did not cook anymore. my diet and workout were abandoned.

everything seems so uncomfortable. i will go to sleep after work till maghrib. after maghrib, had simple dinner( usually we just ordered from the cafe down there in my apartment) then back to sleep again. the same cycle goes again the next day.

i did not have time to study at all. i was very tired, depressed, and the interest to further study just lost..gone with the wind.

until one fine day, i sat with my husband, cried and ventilate everything. he was there actually throughout my working days in that hospital, but he was also busy. he is a medical officer in surgical department. he occasionally will be called back to go to OT for operation. either learning the new op skill or helping other colleague who stuck with the op. he usually went to work an hour later which was around 8am, had his breakfast well then went to the ward and went home around 5pm. he will spend enough time with the kids at swimming pool and had dinner and went back to OT for tagging.

he did not experience my kind of stress because he was enjoying what he was doing. his superior was not an asshole. so, good for him then.

my husband is such an angel. after that long talk, he gave me a lot of option to go. he did offer me to be stay at home mother. but i have to bare in mind that the our financial part will be very tight. or i could quit and work as GP -general practitioner.

he did not asked me to quit. he left the decision to me. because after all, i am the one who is going to work, not him. i have been thinking for quit sometimes.

i started sending my resume then. with Allah's will, there were few job vacancies published online. i e-mailed my resume to the HR of few hospitals and within less 24 hour i already received few calls calling for an interview. Alhamdulillah. i was very grateful.

after attended few interview sessions and taking into consideration, the distance of the workplace, working hours and salary, i decided to join this hospital that i am working now.

i worked in shift system now. rasa macam housemen pulak. haha. i worked in emergency department. the difference are a lot. the workload was not as bad as in emergency department in government hospital. but, i run the ED alone for the whole shift. still tiring though.

i took about 1 month to settle down here. it was entirely a new system, new style, new people, new bosses, new colleagues and staffs. after 2 months i really enjoyed working here.

further with the amount of salary. it was really worth it.

it was not so much like PM salary but it worth more than that for people like me.

Alhamdulillah.

will tell more about my job later.

see ya.

just finished resuscitating patient and had my sohur.

Wassalam.